apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
