Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
