Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
