is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
do herpes really smell.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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