I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
