tell your sister to shave her snatch
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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