We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
