It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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