I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
