yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
