New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
