I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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