I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
