I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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