My nipple is on Facebook.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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