member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
