He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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