I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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