Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
