we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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