too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize