I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
