Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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