So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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