please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
