You just made me feel so damn special
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize