SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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