Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
