yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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