The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
