the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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