I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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