I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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