This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
...so i touched it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
