I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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