I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
