if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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