this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
