Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
