Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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