Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You are the jesus of drinking
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
