At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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