Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize