i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
