capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
