Don't you send me to vm
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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