Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Its about making memories worth repressing
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize