The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize