I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
