Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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