So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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