how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my liver is dry heaving
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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