Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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