i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
