seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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