I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
