my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
