Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my liver is dry heaving
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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