my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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