I have demons in me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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