i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
