New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The power of my boobs compel you
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