This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
