that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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