And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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