"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
