Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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