ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
how drunk are you?
Several
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize