You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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