Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
