What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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