He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
