: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
His nipple licking is glorious
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