My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
