I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize