i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
