You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
